Thursday, June 19, 2008

Leaving your little toddler behind for work

Just the other day, I had a chat with an associate. I wouldn't say she's a friend because I'd only come to know her there and then under some circumstances. The lady's a fast-moving career person who intends to conquer a major international company before age 30. And so far, she has managed it quite well to reach a high-ranking position overlooking three countries.

And when I was talking to her, she revealed that she has just given birth to her baby girl. Oh, and so upon hearing that news, I congratulated her and I would have expected her to mention more about the baby and how she's taking the new addition to her family and such. But to my amazement, she was proclaiming to me, how she came back to work right after birth because there's so much to her career right now that she cannot bear to miss out on.

I just smiled and was reluctant to say anything further after that. I wasn't envious of her position or the money she's earning in the organization. But instead, I was horrified by her lack of compassion for her new-born child and family.

I could never put my career ahead of my family because they are the most important people in my life. Money, I can always find. But there's only one family for me. And they are irreplaceable. The lady only goes to show me how some people living in the fast-paced city life have literally gone crazy chasing after money, so much so that it's enough to leave their new-born baby behind.

I can see that she loves her job and takes a whole lot of pride in her career. But that doesn't give her the excuse of leaving her little toddler behind for work's sake. Unacceptable for any mother. She should be ashamed of herself.


Anonymous said...

wah, so judgmental wan ar...

Anonymous said...

why are you passing judgment on her? you don't know her full situation. Perhaps her husband is a house husband or her own mother is happy to stay at home and look after her child 24 / 7?

just because she's not personally caring for the child doesn't mean the child is abused and neglected. It used to be very common and accepted barely 2 generations ago for babies to be sent to wet nurses to look after and only returned to parents after they were 3 years old.

It's better that she be happy and fulfilled in what makes her happy and fulfilled rather than having to sit at home and feel resentful of the baby and take out her frustrations on her children, like so many mothers do.

I think societal pressures / expectations on mothers to be 100% present all the time caring for their children is unfair and unnecessary - no one expects fathers to do that.

There's many different ways of mothering and there's no guarantee that any one way is better than the other.

Supergirlfriend said...

Hey anonymous and tinytapir, hush hush..don't get so worked up. I must've hit some button there eh?

Well first of all, there are many different kinds of people in this world. Which would mean that everybody sees thing and read things in different perspectives. And what I've mentioned is just my own perspective of the situation presented upfront.

Thanks for dropping by anyway!

oOFooi said...

I got so upset when she left her little toddler behind for her work sake!

Can I say she is irresponsible for her little one?

zewt said...

my boss used to be like that... now, everyday, she told me she regret missing out on the growing years of her children.

some ppl just have to learn things the hard way.

Supergirlfriend said...

hey oofooi..yeah, I'm a little upset as well. But since it's a decision that the lady herself is so proud of, we can't say much as outsiders..It's her life anyway.. :)

hey zewt, yeah...people always learn things when it's all too late already. Can't turn back time eh? That's why must treasure every moment.. :p

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